A Work in Progress

I want to share something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for the last few days.

I recently shared about my experience in overcoming a very trying situation by carefully choosing my response. The very next day proved to be equally as challenging.

My little one was still very ill, our babysitter had her own challenges which prevented her from coming to work that day, my assistant at the office was dealing with a personal emergency, and a client needed some urgent work done. The pressure was palpable. 

They say that when it rains, it pours. This was a flood. A flood of unfortunate and unavoidable coincidences. A flood of emotions. A flood of tears contained only by shallow breath. 

Enter: the critic within. 

It called me weak. How could I succumb so easily to the unrelenting stressors that seemed to compound by the minute? 

It called me a failure. Hadn’t I just expounded the necessity of breath and the choices that we can make when faced with difficult situations?

It called me a fraud. It accused me of not living my words. 

I know now that the critic within never has anything positive to say. More importantly, I know now that the critic within isn’t always right. 

You see, my reactions are not fixed. I am becoming. 

My progress is not stagnant. I am becoming. 

I am not the sum total of my failings. I am becoming. 

I am becoming more attuned to the call to be intentional in my response, however, that doesn’t mean just yet that intention is always my first response. 

I am becoming more aware of the lessons hidden deep within my trials, but I acknowledge that these lessons are ongoing, and that I still have much to learn. 

I am becoming more forgiving of myself, knowing that each new moment is another opportunity to choose a better response than I did before, and that a prior failure on my part in no way means that my journey thus far has been in vain. 

I may be a work in progress, but I am still a work of art.