Today I did something that I’ve never done before.
I was wrapping a gift for my niece when my littlest love asked if she could help me. Without hesitation, I said yes. She immediately eyed the wrapping paper and started for the big scissors that I had on hand. Instead, I reached for the kiddie safety scissors and gave it to her. I watched on with a smile as she fumbled with the scissors before deciding that her right hand was best suited for the job. When she was ready, I showed her where to cut the wrapping paper and she got to work. Boy, did she cut! She cut and cut to her little heart’s content. She cut up, down and in every direction… except straight across, of course.
And, you know what? I let her.
This may sound like a little thing, but this was big for me.
And, you know what was even bigger? I used the very paper that she had cut to wrap the gift.
This uneven, zig zagged (at best) piece of paper now covers the gift that I set out to wrap.
Why is this such a big deal for me? Because I let go. I completely gave in to the moment and allowed my littlest love to help. Her help may not have been perfect. It may even have been untidy. But it was genuine. It came from an earnest heart.
In years gone by, I can guarantee that this little exchange would have ended differently. I can’t say that I would have discarded or attempted to fix the paper that my littlest love had cut, because, the truth is, I wouldn’t have allowed her to help me in the first place.
It would have been too messy.
I would have been too rushed.
I would have been too concerned about how the end result ‘looked’ to the recipient.
But no, not today.
Today I set aside perfection and embraced best effort as enough.
Today I focused less on the presentation and basked in being fully present.
Today we made a little mess but created big memories.
The look of pride on my littlest love’s face when she had finished wrapping the gift is something I will always treasure. It then became clear that this was much more than a simple exercise in gift-wrapping.
By resisting my urge to micro-manage, I gave her room to fumble and to find what fits.
By setting aside my unattainable expectations, I offered her a safe space to try her best and to celebrate her effort.
By ignoring my innate tendency to ‘fix’ what isn’t done to the highest standard, I confirmed her contribution as meaningful and valuable.
We may have been wrapping a present, but the best gifts of all lay outside of that wrapping paper; gifts that I hope to give to her- and to myself- over and over.
And so, perhaps, the next time I set out do something new, I will remember these little hands and their big effort.
I will allow myself to fumble and to find what fits.
I will recognise the beauty in the trying and celebrate my best effort as enough.
I will set a new standard. Once that is no longer unattainable, but rather, one that encourages learning. One that thrives in grace. One that understands that earnest contribution is far more valuable than perfection ever will be.
I will say yes.
I will let go.
I will embrace best effort as enough.
And, in so doing, I will both give and receive the greatest gifts of all.
littlest is that an English word, not
to my knowledge. I would say ‘ My
youngest ……….. This is just a question.
As far as I know and being a retired
English Linguist and Language Trainer.
Kind regards
Hi Hazel, thanks for this. “Littlest” certainly isn’t a word that I would use in everyday language, but “littlest love” is a term of endearment that I have always used for this little one. Thanks for reading! 🙂
I guess it’s a word now. Such a well written and thoughtful piece. It’s the “littlest” things that make a BIG difference. Thank you for sharing your sincere heart with us, Angeline. Merry Christmas!
“Littlest love is lovely. ” Alliteration, freedom, tenderness in writing. What a perfect metaphor this was for your message!
Such a beautiful message that I will take to heart. I adore your “littlest love” name for your child as I have 3 loves myself.
Why do some people have to nitpick over a choice of words instead of just enjoying the beautiful message here? Just a hint, when you go around constantly correcting people you just make yourself look bad.
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Love your story. Thanks for sharing 💫❤️✨
This is beautiful – our parallel situations – so different, yet not.
My teen had a difficult chore to complete today, one I wasn’t certain he could do on his own. His push for more independence grows daily. We’d agreed I would check over his work and I’d been thinking about how I was going to give feedback – I didn’t want him to feel criticised or that he hadn’t done a good job, but at the same time it needed to pass scrutiny.
My independent boy, who is trying to discover who he is, and figure out what kind of man he wants to become was looking at me for validation, I could see mixed emotions in his eyes, a confidence that he’d done a good job, and apprehension that he might not have.
Your words were in my head – I knew that what I was going to say really mattered to him, so I took the time to notice the little details, to make descriptive observations of what he had achieved. I know this is an awesome parenting technique / life technique it’s rare I make time to do this.
First he smiled, then he grew taller, filling every inch of his 6ft frame, then his grin grew wider and he started telling me what he’d done. He didn’t moan or whinge about how hard it had been, he pointed out how he’d solved problems, about how he’d used ingenuity and transferred skills to complete his chore.
He grew today, gained a little more confidence – this child – man stage requires more time and more thought than I’d imagined, what a perfect time of year to KNOW this and plan forwards for this journey.
Oh, Samantha! Thank you for sharing this with me, it has truly warmed my heart!
Thank you Angelina for always sharing your heart and tugging mine. My take away is your intentional stride in creating what I call ‘mommy making-memory moments.’ You’re on a pathway of no-return-wonderful!! These memories don’t get etched into the cement of time without messes in the mix and tangles in its trails-sometimes much to the horror of my adult loves 🤣 On Wednesday my littlest ‘Pookie’ left my home hugging her Daddy’s neck with one arm while her other arm clutched her treasured creation firmly into her side, determination stamped on her face🥰. She left her sweet mix of mess and tangles etched deeply in my heart. Some elbow grease removed the stubborn stains of her masterpiece but no amount of elbow grease will ever remove the squeals of her delight from my heart. We made a big mess but cemented a lasting memory. Priceless ❤️