Paws and Reflect

I’m not a dog person.

I’ve maintained this position for as long as I can remember. I would never dream of being cruel to an animal, but it would never cross my mind to play with one, let alone own one. I don’t mind visiting a house that has pets, but my interaction with those pets has always been limited to slipping quickly past them so they don’t lick my toes.

My husband, on the other hand, has had dogs his entire life… that is, up until we got married. I can’t recall a single instance in the early part of our relationship when he suggested that we get a pet. There was, perhaps, an unspoken understanding that I don’t do pets.

Over the years, however, as our kids got older he would say that kids need pets. He believes that having a pet and caring for its needs is a great way to engender a sense of responsibility in a young life. Although I could think of other ways to instill this responsibility, I had to agree with his premise. And it is only for this reason that I agreed to getting a dog a few months ago. Ever the negotiator, I made my conditions clear: the dog was not allowed inside the house, the kids (and my husband) would have to see about its day to day care, and the moment I had to clean up the dog’s mess I would be entitled to take him right back to the shelter.

As I type this, I see how harsh my position was. But, as I said, I’m not a dog person.

Of course, everyone heartily agreed to these terms and my husband and the older kids went to the shelter and adopted a six month old pup.

On the day they brought him home, I knew that adherence to our agreed terms was in jeopardy.

“He’s just a puppy, he can’t stay outside.”
“We don’t have much of a yard, he needs room to play.”
“He needs to come inside the house, he will be lonely outside.”

Day one, I tell you!

Of course, I acquiesced. We renegotiated our terms. He would be permitted inside but he was not to climb on the furniture and he was not allowed upstairs.

The first few days were very strange for me. Every time I saw this little pup walking around inside I would laugh and say, “I can’t believe I have a dog!…And he’s in my house!”

As the days passed by, I would find myself looking forward to coming downstairs to check on him. I would play with him while my coffee brewed and everyone else was asleep. He would excitedly run around as he saw me and throw himself on his back, exposing his little belly so that I could give him belly rubs.

One evening, while stroking his fur lightly as I sat in the living room, I paused. I looked at my hand resting lovingly on his little body and I reflected on how far I’d come in such a short space of time.
This little pup broke the boundaries of my living space and settled into my heart.
This little pup softened my harshness and roused my compassion.
This little pup, without using a single word, challenged a label that I had held onto for so long: I am not a dog person.

Now, I’m not saying that I am suddenly going to rush to pet every dog I see, but I’m realising that instead of blindly subscribing to a label that tells me what I am NOT, I can explore and discover what I AM. I am loving. I am compassionate. I am caring for a little life that looks to us for sustenance in every way. I am so much more than a ‘one size fits all’ label.

And, I wondered, what other labels might I be holding on to that aren’t serving me?
What other assumptions have I made about myself that I have never seen the need to challenge?
What have I accepted as a fact about what I am NOT that has prevented me from exploring and discovering who and how I really AM?

For reasons that none of us could have anticipated, we could not keep our little pup. I’ll never forget the day that we returned him to the loving arms that received him at the shelter. I felt as though I was leaving a piece of myself there. Even as I write this, I feel the emotion welling up inside. I miss him. And I heartily agree to welcome another pup into our lives when the time is right.

One thing that has remained, however, is my determination not to let the labels that have unknowingly limited me in various ways continue to hold me back from discovering who I am and what I am capable of. I’ve promised myself that anytime I say “I’m not…” or “I can’t…” I will pause and reflect on the labels and the limits that I blindly accept – and I will seek to challenge them, to learn and to grow.

A little pup came into my home and into my heart, and now I have one less label and much more room for love.