Permission to Be

“A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.“

– Max Lucado

Have you ever wondered what life could be like if you turned your back on the expected? As a society, we have created, accepted and followed certain norms. We have come up with a definition of success that entails so much more than being able to meet our own needs. We have created badges of honour and we call them Busyness, Exhaustion and Excess. We say to ourselves that we must do all the things to reap all the rewards, and that we must burn ourselves out in order to do it right.

A slow simmering of unfulfillment from within gradually lead to a tumultuous and rapid boiling over of discontent, anxiety and despair. I was unhappy with what my life looked like. This lead to anxious thoughts about what course my life should follow. This, in turn, lead to complete and utter despair, as my instinct was to believe that I was failing at keeping up; I was failing at being able to do it all; I was failing at life.

Mind you, if you asked me then to identify exactly what I thought I was failing at, I likely would have explained some version of my life that I was programmed into believing was the only mark of success.

Over time, after much wrestling with fear, I have come to realize that the life that I am crafting looks a lot different to the life that I had mapped out for myself so many years ago; the life that I thought would have been most pleasing to those around me; the life that would have signaled success to myself and to the world.

Over time, after much longing for peace in my inner being, I have come to realize that it is possible to be happy; it is possible to take time for myself; it is possible to live the life that makes me feel truly alive, instead of merely marking my days.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who left her corporate career to follow her passion. In that conversation, she said to me that she never knew that it was possible to be so happy. Sadly, far too many of us have yet to experience this level of fulfillment.

The fact is that we crave validation. We need to know that our decisions will please those around us. We need to know that we are in alignment with the norms that we have unknowingly created and accepted. But the truth is that there can be no true fulfillment outside of finding our purpose, and living our lives in a way that brings joy to ourselves and to those we meet.

You need no validation to do what you feel called to do. You need no validation to be who you were called to be. You need no validation to follow your dreams and live the life that you want to live, regardless of the expectations that others may have for your life. But, if after all is said and done, you still believe that you need someone to accept or approve your decision, then here it is: I give you permission to Be.