Despite increased restrictions and stringent lockdown measures, the cases in our little country continued to rise and a state of emergency was declared a few months ago.
In order to limit our trips outside, I had started meal planning as best as I could and compiled a grocery list accordingly so that I didn’t have cause to run to the grocery as often as before. In this vein, I’d started to make a list of grocery items that I would need to buy at my next trip, even if it was still a few weeks away. I hadn’t yet run out of any of these items, but I knew that they would likely need to be replaced by the time my next visit to the grocery came around. This ‘pre-emptive’ list served two purposes: first, it ensured that I didn’t forget any of the essentials while compiling a list right before my grocery trip and, secondly, it gave me the assurance that I had made provision for our needs to be met even before they arose.
Admittedly, it felt a little strange to add ‘eggs’ to the list knowing full well that a fresh dozen was in my fridge, but our mind tends to focus on what we don’t have at hand at the relevant time, and so I wanted to ensure that I noted this need even if it wasn’t an imminent one.
This little system served me well during the intense lockdown. It allowed me to prioritise what was important, it made me get clear on what we needed from week to week and it ensured that whenever the time came to stock up on supplies, I wouldn’t forget to top up the necessities before they ran out.
Each time I added an item to this pre-emptive list, I wondered… What would happen if I did this in my own life?
If I make a list of resources that, although not yet depleted, are likely to run low or run out altogether.
If I clarified what was necessary for my sustenance and ensured that it was noted and honoured.
If I sought to fill my reserves on a continuous basis rather than wait until I was depleted and running on empty.
What a radical idea!
Why? Because I have a hard time tending to self even when I am running on empty, far less pre-empting my needs and filling my reserves well before I reach that point.
What might this look like? Well, just as everyone’s grocery list reflects the tastes, wants and likes of their household, our ‘top up’ list needs to reflect our needs, priorities and values.
For me, it might look like scheduling ten minutes of alone time so that I rest my overloaded senses before I reach breaking point.
It might look like going to bed a little earlier so that I give my body the down time it needs to handle the long days ahead.
It might look like setting a hard boundary on screen time in the evenings so that I can be fully present with those closest to me and meet the deep need for loving connection in my household.
It might look like saying no to someone or something else today so that I create margin in my calendar later on.
It might look like choosing to show up for myself in the little things so that I trust that I can be on my own side for the big things.
And now I ask you…
What would it be like if you made a pre-emptive list?
What would feature on it?
How would it feel to top up your reserves before you find yourself running on empty?
We don’t need to wait until all of our reserves are depleted before we tend to self.
We don’t need to be on the verge of a breakdown before we take steps to build ourselves up.
We don’t need to delay meeting our own needs until everything else is taken care of.
We don’t need to have an over-crowded calendar before we say no.
We don’t need to wait until we are absolutely exhausted and stretched thin before we allow ourselves the time and the space to rest.
When it comes to replenishing our reserves we may find that, just like that pre-emptive grocery list, a little planning ahead goes a long way.