‘One joy scatters a hundred griefs.’
– Chinese Proverb
Surely there are more important issues to be concerned about than our own happiness. After all, aren’t we called to be a selfless people; ever seeing about the needs of others in order to do a good life’s work?
As I consider tending to my own contentment, I wonder whether the pursuit is self-centered; whether I am being selfish for finally finding the courage to say ‘yes’ to the things that matter to me, to the things that make me come alive.
As I consider following my heart’s leading, I wonder whether this master’s chart is too idealistic to be pursued; whether the suffering and tragedy all around forebodes an inevitability.
As I dream of embracing my dreams, I wonder whether visions of freedom are irresponsible; whether meeting my own needs is merited when there are far greater needs to be met.
The fact is that disappointment is a part of life; but that in no way means that I am destined to live a disappointing life.
As I see it, we need to find the balance between selfishness and self-care; between self-adulation and self-preservation.
The pursuit of happiness does not mean that we are putting ourselves before everyone else…let’s be honest…it means that we are finally adding ourselves to the list.
For some, it means a little quiet time; a break from the bombarding noises and demands emanating from our phones and calendars so that we can bask in pockets of pleasure.
For others, it means the preservation of our mental health, deliberately stepping away from the things that cause the loudest noise in our minds and pursuing peace; deeply convinced that prolonged dissatisfaction touches and permeates every area of our lives.
Whatever it means for you, know that in order to give of yourself, whether it be to your work, your loved ones or your passions, your reserves must not be depleted. Your cup must first be filled in order for you to pour from it.
So fill your cup.
Replenish your reserves.
Do what you must in order to find happiness where you are.
And then, when your reservoir of contentment overflows, don’t be selfish with it.
Share.
Share your time.
Share your talents.
Share of your brokenness and of your vulnerability.
Share your story.
Stockpile your happiness so that it bounds out of you in excess and you cannot help but spread the joy that you have found.
It’s amazing what a little self-care can do for your ability to care for everyone else.
Pursue your happiness. And, as you attain it, pursue a life of sharing it.
This, my friends, is the noblest of pursuits.
What a wonderful way to look at happiness. I need to stop feeling guilty about wanting to take breaks and putting myself before others. The other day I apologized for helping someone finished their work by working at my own pace. I need to stop apologizing for slowing down!
I have just discovered your blog via No Sidebar and have devoured each post with tears in my eyes. Your words are refreshment to my soul. I am at a place where every word you write touches something deep within me …. they are words I desperately need to hear. I am on a journey of trying to heal a depleted, anxious, regretful and tired soul. I try to be all things to all people but nothing to myself. I am just starting out on a new journey, trying to convince myself that there is another way and each word you have written truly resonates with me. Thank you for your understanding and your inspiration. Your words are deeply meaningful and desperately needed by so many people today and, if you need confirmation that you are doing what you were purposed to do, I’m telling you now that you are. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing wisdom and love.
Carolyn, thank you for sharing your heart and for your very kind words of encouragement. Your words have touched me deeply, more than you can know.