I was chatting with my husband and mentioned to him that a cousin of mine who lives abroad posted a video to her social media of her walking toward her front door. As she recorded herself approaching her home, we could see her little toddler on the other side of the door, smiling and greeting her with excitement.
A cute moment captured, for sure, but that wasn’t the point of my story.
“Would you believe” I continued, “that her entire front door is a piece of glass set in a frame? No bars. No burglar proofing. Nothing!”
My husband’s eyes widened in amazement. “Wow!” He said, “That must be nice! Imagine being able to live like that and just have a completely clear view through your windows and doors.”
This conversation might sound strange to most, but where we live, you can hardly find a window, door or other conceivable entry point without reinforced bars covering them for safety.
I thought about it a little more and then I mused, “It sounds wonderful, but I don’t think I could live like that. I would be too scared. I’ve only ever known windows and doors with bars and wouldn’t be comfortable without them.”
I then looked out of our window and admired the view. “I don’t even see the bars when I look outside.”
The moment the words left my lips I felt their gravity. My husband shook his head in agreement saying, “It’s true, we don’t even notice them.”
I continued to look right past the wrought iron bars on our window and fixed my gaze on the leaves of the palm trees freely blowing in the gentle afternoon breeze.
I couldn’t help but think about those bars and the fact that we don’t even see them anymore.
I then wondered…
What other bars might I have in my life that have become so familiar to me that I don’t even notice them?
What else have I put in place that provides me with a feeling of comfort, yet has the effect of closing me in or locking others out?
What could I never imagine living without because it gives me a sense of security and safety, yet has the effect of separating me from this big, beautiful world?
More than just a few things come to mind.
We all have these ‘bars’ – these things that we do or have or depend on.
These could be thoughts.
These could be habits.
These could be beliefs, either about ourselves, others or the world around us.
And we hold onto them for various reasons.
Perhaps we feel that they provide a measure of comfort.
Perhaps we believe that they keep us safe.
Perhaps we assume that they protect us from risk.
Perhaps we think that they create a sense of order and control by limiting who or what can get near to us.
Whatever our reasons, we have erected these bars in our lives and, just like those physical iron bars on my window, we don’t even see them anymore. We’ve become so accustomed to having these bars that we look right past them. Many times, we don’t even know that they are there.
But these bars are in fact there.
Limiting our reach.
Hindering our vision.
Keeping our potential locked away.
Preventing us from fully immersing ourselves in this big, beautiful world.
The bars on my window serve a very real purpose, but the bars on my mind do not. Sure, they promise comfort and safety and protection, but at the expense of freedom.
At the expense of change.
At the expense of potential.
At the expense of far too much.
It’s time to not only see the bars, but to see them for what they are.
It may take much effort and intention, but these bars can be removed.
One by one.
Shift by shift.
Day by day.
And, before we know it, we start to move beyond what’s comfortable.
We learn to do without the things we thought we could never live without.
We are able to see ourselves without fetter or limitation.
We allow ourselves to step into this big, beautiful world.
We begin to live life beyond the bars.