There has been a nasty bug going around for the last two weeks and, one by one, my little loves have gotten sick. My eldest hardly ever gets ill but, for some reason, he was hit the worst and spent almost a week home from school. A few days in, I noticed that although his symptoms were improving, he was still super exhausted.
Unnaturally exhausted.
Sure, his body had been through a lot, but I started to get concerned that someone who was getting so much rest could still be so tired.
One day while checking in on him, I noticed a pained look on his face. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “You look like something is bothering you.” He opened up immediately and began to complain about an assignment that had been posted online for his class. He then started to share that he didn’t feel like he had the energy to do it and that he had been thinking about it constantly for a few days. I could see in his face how upset he was about the whole thing.
I recognised the pattern immediately – His body was still recovering from an awful sickness and yet, instead of allowing himself to rest fully and to recover completely, his mind had been racing on end about all that he had to do.
I can totally relate.
I decided to share with him a concept that I wish I had learnt much earlier:
Just because your body is lying down doesn’t mean that you are resting.
I explained to him that there are many different types of rest, and that getting the rest that we need in one area doesn’t mean that we will be fully rested in others. Sure, his body was well rested from the few days of lying down, but his mind was operating on overdrive. No wonder he was so exhausted!
I thought about my own relationship to rest over the years and about how really understanding this concept has opened me up to rest in ways that I had never considered before.
Maybe you’ve experienced this too?
That, by all accounts, you shouldn’t be so tired because you’re sitting, or lying down or even napping…
But your mind is racing.
Your heart is pounding.
Your imagination is soaring.
Your thoughts are swirling.
…And you just can’t understand why you are so, so tired!
I offered him a suggestion. “What if you just decided right now that you are not going to tackle the assignment until this afternoon?” I could see the wheels turning in his head as he contemplated what I was saying. “And what if…” I continued, “you trusted yourself enough to know that you will get to it at a set time once you’ve allowed yourself to take the morning off?”
“I could do that.” came his reply.
Permission to rest. That’s what it took for him. That’s what it takes for us.
Not just to lie down.
Not just to have a seat.
Not just to take it slower, or easier, or lighter.
But to truly, fully, completely rest.
To allow ourselves to quiet the mind.
To permit ourselves to settle the nerves.
To trust ourselves enough to know that we will do the things that need to get done at a decided time – after we tend to the most important, most life-giving, most sacred parts of us that need stillness.
That need peace.
That need rest.
What does it take?
It takes awareness – recognising that we have a need for rest and recovery.
It takes compassion – ensuring that we get the rest we need without guilt and without shame.
It takes intention – deciding that, sometimes, rest is the most productive thing that we can do.
And it takes permission – allowing ourselves to rest fully. To rest completely. And to rest meaningfully.
After all, worrying while lying down is just burning energy in a different way.
What about you?
Do you find yourself unable to quiet the chatter and to tame the to-do list?
Do you battle with feelings of guilt or shame whenever you try to take a much needed break?
Do you sometimes wake up from a full night’s sleep feeling even more tired than when you went to bed?
If so, know that you are not alone.
And know that true, meaningful restoration is within reach… if only we give ourselves the permission to rest.