Self-imposed Lockdown

“We can’t live in lockdown forever”, I said in a recent conversation with my grandmother. As soon as I uttered the words, however, I realised the depth of that statement, and just how wrong I could be.

I was referring to the very slow pace at which restrictions are being lifted where we live and the fact that some industries still remain closed. One such industry impacts our household directly. 

Nevertheless, when it comes to physical lockdown, I know that eventually all of our restrictions will lift and life will return to a semblance of normal.

What struck me, however, is that, if we’re honest, many of us have experienced a form of “lockdown” for years. 

I’m not referring to a physical lockdown. No, this is far worse. 

We may have been free to move around, yet we somehow felt trapped. Trapped by expectation. Trapped in a cycle of unfulfillment. Trapped in a fast moving system that seemed to be the accepted norm.

We may not have needed a mask, yet our true selves were hidden under a guise of conformity. A facade of importance. A shield woven of culture and long held beliefs. 

We weren’t practising any form of distancing, but we were further than ever from our centre; the expanse between what we wanted for our lives and our reality growing larger and larger with each passing day. 

Many of us have been in this type of lockdown for years. A state of limbo that hovers just out of reach of our dreams yet is crushed by the weight of obligation and expectation. 

But, what if we lifted those restrictions? 

What if we loosened the tethers that bind us to disappointments and unfulfillment and, instead, pursued the freedom to craft a life we want to live. Freedom to explore our passions. Freedom to create. Freedom to slow our pace and embrace each moment. 

What if we lowered the veil that masks our true identity and dared to be our very real, very vulnerable selves – imperfections and all. What if we acknowledged that in order to truly touch the lives of others, we must first be seen. And that, in order to be seen, we must first reveal our authenticity. 

What if we lessened the gap between the life we want and the life we have. What if we listened to our hearts, to that still small voice that knows what we need. What if we decided to make small shifts in our perspectives, in our habits and in our relationships that yield tremendous impact on our day to day lives. 

What if we stepped out of our self-imposed lockdown and into freedom?

Well, I think we will be amazed at what we may find. 

We may find that our tethers are better fixed to more meaningful pursuits. 

We may find that our vulnerability leads to more connection and understanding. 

We may find that the life that we’ve always wanted was only a few, small steps away. 

What’s more: we may find that true freedom comes from a deep understanding that who we are becoming is far more important than what we have or what we do. 

It’s time to lift the lockdown. 

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21 Replies to “Self-imposed Lockdown”

  1. WOW! Thank you for this profound insight. It was meant for me to discover you through Joshua Becker’s Becoming Minimalist because my entire family (4 generations, 5 families) is at odds with where we live.

    We have made the decision to do whatever it takes to change our lives and move away from the City and onto acreage that will allow us to each have our own piece of it with our individual homes and a large community garden. Our goal is to accomplish this in 2 years from now.

    You have inspired me and I will share your words with each one of them.

    Thank you again, you are appreciated!

    I hope your day is abundantly BLESSED!

    1. Linda, thanks for sharing this with me. I’m so happy to know that these words spoke to you in such a meaningful way!

  2. “A state of limbo that hovers just out of reach of our dreams yet is crushed by the weight of obligation and expectation. ”
    This is me. The obligations and expectations do seem to overwhelm me at times. Thank you for your willingness to share your thoughts with us. It truly helps.

    1. Limbo was one of the first terms that came to me at the beginning of S.I.P. Your description, Debbie, clinches it.

  3. I, too, have come upon your writing through Joshua Becker’s blog. You are gifted in your perceptions and ability to express your learnings and longings, and in that way are gifting us in turn. Thank you.

  4. Again, well done Angelina. Your experience confirms the life and the words of the great Indian leader, Mahatma Gandhi, who preached: “Live simply, so others may simply live.”

    Uncle Edward

  5. You resonated with my Soul. I am from a Caribbean island and was taught to conform and be a people pleaser. I lost my power and self while pushing myself too hard to be accepted. With God’s guidance I am unleashing my authentic power.I am learning Self Care and saying No. Thank you for sharing such insightful words.

    1. Jacqui, thanks for sharing this with me. It’s amazing how we are better able to show up for others when we first show up for ourselves. Enjoy this journey!

  6. Hello to you, Angelina and have fun writing in the Caribbean 🥰 I am a new subscriber and love your post.

  7. I’m seeing that some of the respondents, like me, found you through Joshua Becker — I’ve been fascinated by your posts, including this one. I haven’t really felt all that confined, and am not in a hurry to return to commitments I had pre-pandemic. Having control of my time has allowed me to read a lot more, to reflect on what I want my next act to look like, to focus more on keeping myself physically and spiritually healthy. I think I will be mourning the loss of excuse to stay home and just … be.

    1. Hi Natine, thanks for sharing this. This time has given us a taste of simplicity, and has hopefully inspired many to pursue a slower pace even after formal restrictions are lifted. Having the opportunity to simply ‘be’ is priceless, and it’s up to us to seek those opportunities in the midst of our everyday lives. Thanks for reading!

  8. Thank you Angelina for sharing your sweetest thought. This describes well the relationship that we have with ourselves in time of confinement. It is not only the obligation behind it is dementrous to our freedom, it is its impact and how it affect us that we need to see clearly for ourselves. Again, this has to come from ourselves meanwhile many of us don’t give ourselves the permission to be fully who we are, with reasons. Lifting the restrictions, soon. Wonderful! This is another great post of yours that has made me think so much. Gracias!

  9. You write so beautifully. I have recently found your blog and find your writing so helpful and so poetic. Echoes my own thoughts. Thank you!

  10. Yes, Angelina, the key word for me is EXPECTATION. I often live in the state of pressure TO DO, BE all of the things I inflict upon myself. Nobody else cares what I accomplish, what I micromanage!! The Lockdown is like an strict teacher: demanding, unceasing, but in the long run, one who impacts our lives perhaps, forever. This is a time to reflect, inhale, and make changes that enhance our lives–that heal some of the brutal STRIVING we have allowed to rule over us with a whip!

    1. So very well said. Many times we impose this burden of expectation on ourselves.

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