That Little Something…

I don’t have much of a sweet tooth but I love to bake. Each Christmas, both my family and my husband’s family make a special request for toffee bark and I gladly oblige. Having this addictive dessert on the table has become somewhat of a Christmas tradition in itself. It is a rich and crisp delight topped with melted chocolate and decorated with a sprinkle of candy of your choice. At a quick glance, the ingredients appear obvious, but when you bite into it, there is a certain something that you can’t quite put your finger on. A slight saltiness. An unexpected crunch. 

Spoiler alert: that little something is saltine crackers. As I said, I am not one for sweet treats, but this one is an absolute delight. 

And so, being the (obsessive) planner that I am, I ensured that I made a note on my grocery list of the things that I would need to prepare the toffee bark so that I would have them on hand when I was ready to make it. I must note that this grocery list is compiled and executed a full two weeks before Christmas, because I absolutely hate to go to the grocery in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Christmas week. I’ve made this particular treat so often that I no longer consult a recipe; I just picture the toffee bark in my mind and jot down the ingredients. 

This year, my husband had to work on Christmas Eve, and so I decided that I would do all of my baking at my mum’s house on that day so that I could spend time with my extended family while I was in the kitchen. To that end, the night before Christmas Eve I made yet another list of all of the items that I would have to take over to my mum’s home so that I wouldn’t be rushed or forgetful in the morning. I set the list aside, admittedly proud of how organised I appeared to be, and went to bed. 

The following morning, I woke up much earlier than planned and decided to get a head start on my baking while the kids were still sleeping. All of a sudden, it dawned on me that despite my hyper-organisation and tenacious list-making skills, I had forgotten to buy the saltine crackers. I left this crucial ingredient off of not only one but TWO lists compiled with sweet richness in mind, all the while oblivious to the fact that the very foundation of my dessert was missing. 

Needless to say, I flew into a hot rage that the only way to make this dessert would be to face the traffic and the hustle and to go to the grocery store on Christmas Eve. I called my sister – half-exasperated with myself and half in stitches – and said, “You’re not going to believe what I did!” 

Quite amazingly, she was also on the way to my mother’s home and had just driven past the grocery. She said that since it was so early, the store was still quiet. She then graciously offered to stay at my home with my sleeping kids while I ran out quickly to get the saltine crackers. 

On my way to the store, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself, mostly for making TWO lists, each of which omitted the most essential of all the ingredients. 

And then it occurred to me… 

How many times do we do this in our lives? 

We focus on the sweetness and the richness of life and plan around it, yet we fail to provide for the foundation- the very thing that holds it all together. 
We make lists upon lists accounting for the things we conjure in our minds that we want, but we forget to look beyond the outer trappings of indulgence in order to see what is needed at the very core. 

In making my lists, I focused on what I could see in my mind’s eye: the rich butter and sugar at the base, the sweet chocolate spread evenly across the top, the sprinkled candy for extra bite. But, in failing to go back to my recipe – the reminder of the things that I need ­– I left out the thing that I could not see – that little something required to provide the support for it all. 

Friends, as we prepare to welcome a new year, many of us may be making lists of our own. Lists of resolutions. Lists of the things that we would like to achieve. Lists of the things that we may wish to leave behind. But as we make these lists, and as we take stock of our dreams and our lives, let’s remember to look beyond the outer layers. 

Let’s look beyond the sweetness that we wish to experience.
Let’s look beyond the richness that we want to cultivate.
Let’s look beyond the decorative accents that we sprinkle on top of it all.
And let’s look to the very foundation. 

What do we need in order to ground us?
What do we need in order to hold it all together?
What do we need in order to provide support for our heart and soul? 

Perhaps you need stillness.
Perhaps you need boundaries.
Perhaps you need to tend to self.
Perhaps you need to remember your worth.
Perhaps you need a lot less criticism and much more grace. 

Whatever it is that you need underneath it all to ensure that you are grounded and supported, ensure that you give it to yourself in abundance. 

Ensure that these things are also on your list. 

It’s lovely when life is full of sweetness and beautifully decorated. But a full life requires something more…
Something firm.
Something grounding.
That little something that you just can’t quite put your finger on.
The thing that you cannot see but which holds everything together. 

Find it.
Make room for it.
And give it to yourself in abundance.