Understanding the Assignment

My littlest love was learning about new year’s resolutions in her online classes. As part of the teaching, she watched a lovely little video about a forest animal exploring a host of resolutions for her and her classmates to consider. After the video was complete, my littlest love was asked to share what her new year’s resolution would be. The prompt from the teacher read “This year I would like to learn/ be better at…” 

When we got to that part of the lesson, I asked my littlest love what her resolution was. Without missing a beat, she replied, “To love myself.” 

I smiled at her response and said, “That’s beautiful! But that’s not what your teacher is asking. What are you going to decide to do this year? What would you like to get better at?” 

“I already told you, mummy!” she replied, visibly exasperated by my prodding. “My resolution is to love myself!” 

I shook my head…she didn’t understand the assignment. 

I decided to try a different line of questioning. “So, tell me… are there things that you don’t love about yourself?” 

Her face fell. “I wish I had a face like you, and I don’t like my curly hair!” I froze in place. I then pulled her close and gave her a gentle kiss, fully understanding her sentiments. I know them. I’ve wrestled with them. And, thankfully, I’ve since left them behind. 

“So…” I continued, “how would you love yourself?” 

All at once, her spirit lifted, and the biggest smile spread across her face. “I would hug myself and kiss myself!” She then pulled her legs to her chest, threw her arms around them in a tight embrace and planted a loud, wet kiss on her knees. 

Her assignment sought to highlight the very many ways in which we can seek to become better versions of ourselves.
How we can improve a skill.
Or how we can try something new.
But my littlest love unknowingly stumbled upon a lesson far greater than any scholar could ever impart: When we love ourselves first, it takes care of everything else. 

When we love ourselves, we nourish and tend to our bodies.
When we love ourselves, we give ourselves what we need.
When we love ourselves, we protect our heart and mind with much needed boundaries.
When we love ourselves, we extend grace and compassion when they are needed most.
We speak kindly to ourselves.
We accept ourselves.
We believe that we are enough, just as we are. 

My littlest love, in learning about resolutions, was asked the questions “What do you want to learn?” and “What do you want to get better at?” 

And her reply was simple.
Her reply was honest.
Her reply was profound and wise far beyond her little years. 

“My resolution is to love myself.” 

Perhaps we could all carry this resolve as well. Not just at the start of a new year, but at the dawn of each new day. 

In so doing, we will begin to give ourselves what we need.
We will build ourselves up.
We will believe in our worth.
We will extend kindness, compassion and understanding to ourselves.
We will learn to forgive ourselves and to offer ourselves grace.
We will nestle and find rest in the loving embrace of Enough. 

My littlest love understood the assignment. 

And now I do, too.

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6 Replies to “Understanding the Assignment”

  1. My Dear Angelina,
    I am truly touched by innate wisdom of your littlest one, and by extension, yourself.

    She is indeed very correct in believing in herself first, for without this, she will be of no use to anyone else. This is the most significant failing of our society, where we are spending more time looking out the window rather than at the mirror.

    She echoing an endless list of philosophers, teachers and writers who have been telling us to do so for thousands of years:

    Buddha:
    “You yourself, more than anybody in the entire universe, deserves your
    Love and affection.”

    William Shakespeare:
    “Above all, to thine oneself you must be true.”

    You can do no better than to continue to believe and to live by this, and to pass it one, as forcefully as you to all your “little ones”

    Uncle Edward

  2. We will nestle and find rest in the loving embrace of Enough.

    This is my mantra.

    Thank you for these Lighthouse Words that will guide me through 2022.

    Thank you for your tireless companionship and support throughout my life.

    You are a true friend.

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